Happy Monday!!

Morning Webbers!

I hope you slept well. I did. I got to treat myself yesterday to a fantastic movie yesterday. "The Equalizer" Starring Denzel Washington. I was impressed with the story line being from Boston and all. Lot's of familiar places in that movie. I don't want to give away to much of the plot. I will say go see it. I think he does a great job of inspiring people in the movie.

I have a mission this week to complete a doll house for my daughter.

With that being said here are some handy tips on Teaching Your Child to Be Self-Confident

Parents usually want their children to be self-confident - after all, self-confidence is a key component of success in life. But how do you teach this important life skill? Here are some tips.

Meet Needs

Experts note that babies and later children who have their needs met consistently - needs for food, comfort, a listening ear, etc. - are learning the message that they are worth paying attention to; they learn they have worth. Some professionals believe this is best accomplished through the practice of attachment parenting. Others simply note that prompt and consistent meeting of needs will send a positive message to children.

Play with Your Child

Play is how your child learns about and interacts with his or her world. When you participate, you validate this playful approach. You are sharing your child's world and helping him or her to see that Mom and/or Dad like the same things they do.

Parents can get pushy about teaching their children the value of hard work or the completion of tasks. While these things are certainly important, the time in a person's life when they are young, playful children is quite short. So embrace this time and play with your child, and work in on the task-oriented training in addition to play time. Honestly, it can be therapeutic for parents to play with their kids!

Put on a Happy Face

Okay, not everyone is happy all the time, and parents get stressed. This is understandable, and there's no need to invent a perpetually-cheerful persona; it's not realistic. But if your children receive the constant message that they are the source of your stress, they may begin to take on that identity. They will see themselves as an annoyance, and this may undermine their self-confidence.

Watch What You Say

In a similar vein to the paragraph above, be careful about complaining about your children in their hearing. Yes, parenting is hard, and children can try your patience. But if you need to vent to your friends about the things your child does that drive you crazy, do it at a time when your child is not present or after he or she has fallen asleep.

Don't Withhold Yourself

If your child fails at something - and he or she will at some point - it's important not to withdraw or withhold love and attention. This sends the message that your child's achievements are more important that the child him/herself. Instead, make sure your child knows you love him or her no matter what failures happen.

Of course, this does not mean you as a parent need to accept constant failure or not encourage your child to do better. The important thing is for your child not to think your love is conditional. Privileges can be conditional; parental love shouldn't be.

Okay Webbers enjoy the day. I am here if you need me.

Until next time live your life by design. I am Tim Thomas and here 2-help-u reach you success.

THANK YOU!

The finest compliment I could ever receive is a referral from my friends and clients.

Live Life by Design.

Tim Thomas

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

info@aionnh.com

www.2-help-u.com

https://www.facebook.com/Thomas.Training

http://thomatf.tumblr.com/

What is Life Coaching

Hi Webbers,

A lot of people ask me what I do. When I mention I am a coach they immediately got to a sport or fitness coach. I do have qualification in fitness and certain sports coaching. I definitely operate on a very different level. We do share some similarities as in accountability and striving for a goal. A lot of times my clients goal change from when we start. It is definitely about winning. Winning the game of life. From relationships to personal improvement. I also coach people in their business and work towards results as an increase in their sales or where they have profit leaks in their business. 

What is life coaching plain and simple:

"Life coaching is a possibilities building relationship, between a life coach and a client, for the purpose of improving the clients life and work. Life coaching helps individuals create the changes they want in all aspects of their lives. It is a process that helps clients get unstuck and move plans forward to successful completion." - A life coaching workbook - from Phyllis Reardon

How does it work?  As a coach we find what drives you. We work on specific changes that can be very small at first. As you get better at it we use strategies and work out different scenarios.We set clear goals and monitor them closely. We figure out what you need and develop the resources to get you there.

Life coaching is not counseling or therapy.

Are you looking to create personal mastery?

I hope you enjoyed this post please email or contact me if you would like to learn more on how I could help you live you life by design.

T

Live Life by Design.

Tim Thomas

Aion

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

info@aionnh.com

www.2-help-u.com

https://www.facebook.com/Aionnh

Right to it

Morning Webbers,

Hope you are well. It is Monday and I am getting right to it. I have a lot on my agenda to do today. I have to get it all done. I have worked out this morning and eaten breakfast now I am drinking my coffee and working on my social media.

This weekend proved to be an interesting journey for me. I have been working on more of the mind science aspect of things. I am trying to gain a deeper understanding of my own emotions. One of them is mental choice and how to control the flow of that emotion. To be able to feel it at 100 percent and channel it as a positive. I understand physiology comes into play. Breath does as well. Along with our mental state. One piece in particular is the emotional charge that comes off of it that interests me. I fell somehow that first moment the surge that comes from that is where you have to decide how you are going to channel that energy. Sometime it is like being hit by a huge wave just crashing down on you that you missed the timing and now it is to late and you are just reacting (thrashing) in the aftermath that is more powerful than the initial surge. More research on this to follow....

My daughter made me so proud yesterday. She had a purse full of coins and I asked her to borrow a quarter and she gladly gave it. Proud moment for me that 4 years old she is willing to help with nothing in return. I had to reward for her kindness so we went and fetched her a present.

Well my coffee is gone and it is time to get at it. Enjoy your day Webbers. If you know anyone in need of a coach please do me a favor and pass my name along. Remember it is your life and live it by your design.

T

Elemental Emotions

Hi Webbers,

I hope all is well. I have been experiencing an exciting time for myself these past few weeks. First off I have been trying to organize a lot of information on a digital platform. I am not ready yet to unveil it. If you have seen any of my I am posts. You may have an idea. As I was sitting and going back and forth about how to move forward. I was thinking of what to call the coaching project. I came up with "I AM". It is simple and to the point. As I prepare this program for its launch. I needed a digital platform. I am working on that now. It may not be done but I will release it once I am happy with the look and update as I progress. stay tuned.

Next I wanted to discuss these elemental emotions (just a name I call them). In my martial art training I received over the years. We used a system that contains the use of elemental properties that make up nature. Earth, wind, fire and water now I find it is used in coaching. I have had a few discussions about them with other coaches and their thoughts and feelings on the use of them. Mostly I am amazed at what I feel really connects the dots. I was listening to a piece on split personalities and how we all have them. More importantly how we engage or enrage in using them. In contrast to the elements I have found that we can engage our multiples and flow in between them and use their strengths even though we have been taught to run a separate program when we need them. Which leads us to our rage. It conflicts with our program that we learned at a young age for whatever reason by someone who loves us. I was taught the same thing with the elemental's although I did not have the understanding till now. Seeing how we can learn to flow from one to the other and encourage the use of them to create the outcome we need. I also learned some new questions to ask that help me flow from one to another. some of those are: What is the outcome? What am I trying to achieve. Is it good for me? Is it good for others? Is it sustainable? Is it true? As I run through those questions it puts me in the right space to accomplish my task and move on. As I learn more about the elemental system I will give more insight as it pertains to coaching. I have some thoughts on it however I wan't to make sure they are correct before I go into them here.

Just some information I wanted to get out of my head. Thanks for reading and more to come soon.

Goodbye for now.

T

Aion

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

info@aionnh.com

Sites you can find us on:

www.2-help-u.com

https://www.facebook.com/Aionnh

https://twitter.com/Aionnh

Final Paper for RMT Core 200

Hi Webbers,

I hope your weekend is going fantastic! I have my final paper to write to graduate from my RMT Core 200 training. This training has been phenomenal. It has advanced my coaching career immensely.

My final paper really isn’t a paper. I chose to go with a more modern approach and write a blog post. This has to be about a concept or strategy I learned in units 5-9. I am also incorporating a bit of the less modern approach as well. This will also contain my research on a subject that interest me and about my findings and how part of this work will be incorporated into my practice.

In RMT (Robbins-MadanesTraining) core 200 mastery unit 6 -1. We learn about the use of archetypes. Under this study we learn we can all change. However we must want to and be willing to do what is necessary to change and find a new way. We must discover our resources. We then leverage our resources. One way is to make use of our archetypes.

Archetypes are characters that appear in myths and are contained in each of us. These are based on four Jungian archetypes. I will touch on them briefly and what each represent.

The Warrior – Action and strength.

The Magician – Humor and imagination.

The Lover – Deep connection.

The Sovereign – Vision and purpose.

My client for this purpose is real life. Unfortunately it is my daughter Avery. My wife and I struggled for months. We had thoughts of the worst. We went to the doctor multiple times and were told that she just needed to be away from mom and dad. I am sure you want to know what the problem was or is? The problem was that we could not leave her alone for a minute without a meltdown. For those of you that do not know what a meltdown is. It is a total breakdown of uncontrollable screaming crying, full on panic for about 15 minutes even when the event is over. Now before these episodes we could leave her anywhere alone or not. At this time she was 3 years old.  

My first event with this was trying to leave in the morning. I went to the car as usual and was loading up my car to get ready to go to work and drop Avery off at the baby sitters. As I did I can hear her screaming and clawing at the door to get out. I am like what the hell is going on. I go in and she says you are going to leave me. I said no I was loading up the car like I said. However it was like she didn’t even hear me. I was like wow what the hell. Now you may ask. Maybe she didn’t know I was going out. We have a very clear communication. I get down to her level and speak right to her. We also have a very large picture window and glass door that she can see me at my car. After the episode I loaded her up and dropped her off our sitter my wife’s mom. I called the wife to discuss with her. She said she didn’t know and maybe it would pass.

On that weekend we did our normal grocery shopping in which we do as a family. Then we get home and it is time to put the groceries away. I put Avery in the house and tell her we are bringing in the groceries and does she want to watch a movie. She melts down and just wants to be held. Needless to say I did a poor job of controlling myself. I got angry and sat her on the couch and told her to stay there. That did not work well at all. It actually made it worse. Needless to say we all were in turmoil with each other. When we all cooled down. The wife and I talked and of course both of us went to the worst thought imaginable. We started looking at all sort of scenarios. We discussed different options. I was at a loss. I used the resource I knew as a parent form the example I was shown as a child by my parents and that was to just yell and scream and demonstrate anger. We all know how well that worked… In case you didn’t follow along it went horrible. I felt bad and guilty from it. My wife felt threatened and confused. Avery was now worst off then if I had just let the episode go. I said there has to be a better way.

The next episode occurred at My wife’s Deb mom’s house. Her mom went out to get the mail. She exited by her back porch door. Avery was with her cousin who is 5 and started to have her meltdown and said she needed her Vasvous (what we call her grandmother). Her cousin did what any other child would do with a crying child opened the back door and let her out. Well Avery went down the porch stairs and around the garage as her vasvous came back in her front door. This left Avery #1 on the driveway and #2 with about 25 feet to a very busy main road. Luckily vasvous walked in and asked where Avery was and her cousin said outside and she caught her before anything worse can happen.

Well you can imagine the phone call from the wife. We immediately were at the doctors that afternoon discussing the situation. Our doctor is a very good pediatrician and respect his advice. He said this was normal and we should get her involved in more activities. We tried some and it was not helping and making it worse.

This went on for a few more weeks. I was listening to this part of my course on Archetypes and following one of Tony Robbins lectures and it hit my why not try giving her an Archetype to use. My wife thought I was absolutely crazy when we discussed it.

I sat with my daughter and we talked about magical magicians and princesses and how much I loved her. Most of all how she was my Jade (her warrior) we played little games reinforcing each Archetype all week. We sat that Saturday and talked about how strong Jade was and I anchored that to her. Now we had all the ground work done. I asked her to be Jade for a moment while I went to my car. She asked if she could see me even though she was Jade I said of course. I went to the car and came back. There was a little bit of emotion and I reinforced her as Jade and that everything was okay. We have exercised this now for a year.

This weekend as I was preparing to type this paper up my wife and daughter had decided to take a day off during the week and my wife had the need to vacuum her car and had to leave Avery inside for a bit. Avery’s response was go head momma I will just be Jade and be okay!

My other client was a young man who was eight years old and had a fear of going to first floor restroom at night or traveling up and down the stairs alone. We have used the same process and have gained similar results. His pattern is a little more of a habit and we are working on changing it.

These have not been my only successes, as I have had the chance to work with many children more with the martial arts than with coaching. However I would always have them take on a warrior type character to get through a challenge. I had just never viewed it as a useable tool outside of martial arts. This has changed my thoughts on many of the tools that we use in martial arts and how they can be expanded and used outside of their normal place.

One thing I have learned as I worked with this strategy was that I cannot let my feelings and thoughts override my clients.

That’s is all I have for this weekend webbers. If you have any comments on what is contained in this entry please email: info@aionnh.com

Till next time remember to live your life by design.

T

Live Life by Design.

Tim Thomas

Personal Coach

Aion

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

info@aionnh.com

Sites you can find us on:

www.2-help-u.com

https://www.facebook.com/Aionnh

https://twitter.com/Aionnh

Sunday 4/6/14

"The thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit; and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care, and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings." - Buddha

Morning Webbers,

The Sun is up and the morning is actually almost over. I have to tell you I am hoping this week has better results than last week. I do struggle with keeping my anger in check on occasion and last week was a test of how much control I have now. I came really close to loosing it. I managed to succeed but man I tell ya. I have a lot more practice to do. I was not happy with the results. I want to be free to choose what I get angry over. Don't get me wrong I believe being angry is a good thing as long as we use the fuel it gives the right way. I tend to use it in a very destructive manner when I get to that point.

I have been through a lot of training with different solutions and views on this problem. I also have a lot of triggers that can set me off. One method that works for me is to just pause mentally and physically and to roll through the scenario and look at what the outcome will be. In my training with RMT  I have been taught to look at the the outcome and the ecology. Is it good for me. Is it good for others. Is it sustainable. If the answer is not yes to those three questions. Then perhaps it is not the right decision. I apply this to my anger. How could you apply that process to your problem? Is it relevant? This is what I help people with finding the right strategy or tool to enhance their life.

It is now 2:25 on Sunday and I had a great conversation with another coach from across the pond on a similar subject. I am amazed at how brilliant we are as people. She is using a system that is tens of thousands of years old to handle relationship problems. I was amazed how she is currently adapting it to her work and I am looking forward to the finished project.

As for my business side of things I am testing OfficeClip. It seems to be a truly flexible software that will allow me to handle my business on a more mobile platform. It contains a robust CRM and project management platform which I am in need of. I am still reviewing a lot of the functionality. Look for my full review in the upcoming weeks.

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thats all for now Webbers.

Until next time. This is Tim Thomas reminding you to live life by your design.

Aion

A Life by Design Company

PO Box 4327

Manchester, NH 03108

Tel: 603-682-4980

info@aionnh.com

Sites you can find us on:

www.2-help-u.com

https://www.facebook.com/Aionnh

https://twitter.com/Aionnh

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